And how it is different from going to a hairdresser?

Many times, staff are asked why it takes so long to groom my dog, why does it cost more than getting my haircut. Below is a very simple explanation, with a little humour thrown in.

Going to the salon
  • Pleasantries are exchanged and you sit in the chair.

You don’t smell of droppings, dead animals or wet dog.   You don’t come in with mud, burrs, sticks, tar, sap, gum, grass seeds and poop in your hair.  You don’t hump your hairdresser’s leg.

Washing hair
  • Sit at the basin and have your hair washed and conditioned.

You don’t go for weeks without washing or brushing your hair.  Your hairdresser doesn’t give you a bath.  Your hairdresser doesn’t wash, clean or dry your “private” areas.  Your hairdresser doesn’t squeeze your anal glands. Y our hairdresser doesn’t clean or pluck your ears.  Your hairdresser doesn’t clean the discharge from your eyes.  Your hairdresser doesn’t remove fleas or ticks. You don’t shake and cover everything in soapy water.

Drying and cutting your hair
  • Drying your hair doesn’t blow hair all around the room and gets on everything.

You don’t scream, cry, howl or bark every time the hairdresser picks up nail clippers.   You don’t bite the dryers, brushes, clippers, scissors, nail clippers, etc.  

  • Your haircut takes 20-30 minutes. You sit still and may even chat about events in a pleasant way. Your hairdresser only cuts the top of your head, not your whole body.

Your hairdresser doesn’t have to de-matt your hair or comb out dreadlocks.  Your hairdresser doesn’t trim or shave your “private” area.  Your hairdresser doesn’t include a manicure or pedicure – and it doesn’t take two or more people to trim your nails.  Your hairdresser doesn’t have to shave between your toes. You don’t wriggle, wiggle, shake or jump out of the hairdresser’s chair.  You don’t lick, bite, snap or scratch your hairdresser.  

You don’t try to hump the hairdresser.
  •  You can tell your hairdresser if something’s wrong, she doesn’t have to guess.

Your hairdresser doesn’t need to cuddle you and stroke you when you get nervous.  Your hairdresser doesn’t clean up your pee, poop or throw up while your hair is being cut.

And at the end?
  • You look fabulous.

You don’t wait until you’re clean, dry and styled to go potty and sit in it.

Chickpea says it’s too early on a Saturday to be vertical 💆

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